I think one of best feeling in the world is knowing that you actually mean something to someone.
If you pay peanuts, you get monkeys.
It’s better to be wanted for murder that not to be wanted at all.
Wife: honey I want you to whisper dirty things in my ear! Husband: kitchen, living room, dinning room, patio.
Why is there a show called “When animals attack”? It should be called “When stupid people go near dangerous animals.”
Women are like police, they can have all the evidence in the world but they still want a confession.
Men get laid, but women get screwed.
When a boy promises you forever, make sure to ask how long till forever expires.
The main difference between a cat and a lie is that a cat only has nine lives.
Wherever you go, no matter what the weather, always bring your own sunshine.