FACEBOOK, The second most popular word that starts with “F” and ends with “K”.
Is your name Summer.? because you are as hot as hell.
Never Say Neverrr, you just said it twice ?
Hey, I found your Nose, it was in my business again.
Life is hard normally, but its harder if you are Stupid.
I don`t have a bad handwriting, I have my own font.
Why do you talk so fast?” “Why do you listen so slow?”
That awkward moment when you say goodbye to someone and you end up walking in the same direction.
Do you know why a previous relationship is called EX? It`s not the term for the past. EX is short for EXpired..
It’s raining, It’s pouring. Facebook is boring. I’m bored to death, I’m going to bed, hopefully we’ll meet in the morning!
Beauty isn’t measured by outer appearance and what clothes we wear, but what we are inside ..So, try going out naked tomorrow and see the admiration!
Math questions are so stupid! They’re like “If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 6 in the other, what do I have?” Oh I dunno, a drinking problem maybe?
Women are like boats: they require constant maintenance and attention, and they cost a lot of money. Men are like buses: another one will eventually come along.
thinks that facebook should change the status question from “what’s on your mind?” to “what’s your problem today?”
Next time someone presses the elevator button you’ve already pressed, act totally impressed and tell them they did it waaaay better than you..
I’m the kind of person who bumps into inanimate objects, says, Oops, I’m sorry. And doesn’t stop to ask himself why he’s talking to a wall.
My friend has just updated his status saying. Is balancing on the edge of a cliff.. So i poked him.
If bar tenders aren’t allowed to sell alcohol to drunk people, then McDonald’s shouldn’t be allowed to sell food to fat people.
Why does paper beat rock? if you hold a paper in front of your face and i throw a rock at it who wins?
you`re sorry ? that`s cool. go write a book about it and let someone who actually cares read it.