Facebook Quotes

Facebook…… Half Social Network….. Half Shoe Store! Didnt Know I Was At The Mall.

A man asked a fairy to make him desirable & irresistible to all women. She turned him into a credit card.

Cop pulls man over for suspicion of drunk driving. Cop: Sir have you been drinking? Man: No. Cop: Papers. Man: Scissors, I win!

Dear Warner Bros: Now that I’m an adult, I feel I’m am old enough to hear what the “Beep Beep” is hiding when Road Runner talks to Wile E. Coyote.

Congratulations!! You are the 100th person to view my status. To see your prize please click Control + W.

Scratch here – ¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦ to reveal today’s status?

When you see a man opening a car door for a woman it can only mean 1 of 2 things. Either the car is new or the wife is.

I hate weddings. old people would poke me saying “You’re next”. They stopped when I started going up to them at funerals and poking them, saying, “You’re next”.

Boy: hey dad I got a girlfriend Dad: Good job son! Girl: Hey daddy I got a boyfriend Dad: *loads shotgun*

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